The Daily Whatup!

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Great performances

MANNY RAMIREZ:  This man has had one of the most impressive playoff performances I have ever seen.  Every time I would see him at bat, he got a hit.  When he did not get a hit, it was because he was being intentionally walked.

vs. Phillies:  15 at bats 8 hits 7 rbi 7 walks .533 batting avg.

vs. Cubs:  10 at bats 5 hits 3 rbi 4 walks .500 batting avg.

The Dodgers would have been a sub-.500 team without Manny’s half season, so in the words of John Malkovich’s Teddy KGB in Rounders “Pay that man his money!’  Manny can be Manny all day long on my team.

...dreads and all!

...dreads and all!

JAMAL WILLIAMS:  This beast of a man blew the probowl center of the Patriots, Dan Koppen, about 4 yards back off the line into the running back to make the tackle.  Check it out at the 1:22 mark in the video:
This was the best football play I’ve seen since the Lavar Leap:
POOR PERFORMANCE:  OBAMA AND MCCAIN
I hate when politicians and the media beat an idea into the ground ad nauseum like they did in the debate last night.  Case in point, Joe the Plumber.  Fuck him!  I don’t want to hear another word about this guy.  He is a nobody, so leave him where he may be in Nobodyville USA.  Just like I feel for everyone else from the rotten state of Ohio, Who Cares?
Who Cares?  He's probably a Buckeye fan.

Who Cares? He's probably a Buckeye fan.

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October 16, 2008 Posted by | Joe Plumber, Manny Ramirez | Leave a comment

Today in Sports

– ROY WILLIAMS:  I’m actually happy this trade happened.  I like Roy a lot for his entertainment value, but Lions fans never got to see it because we were never able to get him the ball.  What’s the point of a having a deep stable of receivers if you don’t have anyone to get him the ball?  It’s almost as if the Lions have given up on the season, but I can’t blame them.  They traded for draft picks, so I hope they have already started working on their draft board.  They should have plenty of picks to work with, possibly the #1 pick at this rate.  I will hold my thoughts for now on who that pick should be.

Hey Roy, now that you are leaving the real Big D, have fun with this in Little D:

That's my quarterback!  Sniff Sniff.

That's my quarterback. Sniff Sniff.

– JON KITNA:  He’s out for the season now.  Great!  Now we have Dan Orlovsky to come in and save the day.  Even greater!  Um, I’m hoping the moves to build for the future includes getting a quarterback.  We should try to pick somebody up now to finish the season, and keep them on as leadership.  There’s been rumors of Daunte Culpepper, but I’d rather Steve McNair.  Bring Air McNair to Detroit!

– ANALYSTS:  Maybe I have been watching a bit too much Sportscenter these days, but sports analysts need to just shut the fuck up and watch.  They praise a guy for being a genius one day, then chastise him the next.  The saying goes something like “those that can, play.  those that can’t, coach.”  Where does that leave the analysts?  Those that were too chicken shit to try?

– TOLEDO VS. APP ST.:  This is pissing me off that people keep saying that the Wolverines loss to Toledo was worse than last year’s to Appalachain State.  There are not even close!  Last year was a #5 ranked team full of seniors that had returned with the specific goal of winning a national championship.  This year is an obviously shitty team in transition full of freshman.  There’s no comparison!  None whatsoever!

– JOE PA:  Pretty impressive that he has had at least one undefeated season in every decade since the 60’s.  The 60’s!  If it’s going to happen in this decade, it’s going to be this year.  Hearing today this stat alone leads me to go ahead and claim this indeed is the year.  Penn State will go undefeated in the REGULAR season, on the way to the national championship game.  However, I am not giving them the national championship just yet.  I thought Oklahoma was the team to beat in my mind all season, until a poor showing versus Texas this weekend.  I am not counting them out completely, but I didn’t realize their defense was so poor.  That is why I love college football.  Every game means something.

Unofficial lifetime contract

Unofficial lifetime contract

JoePa and Penn St. had its woes earlier this decade with a few sub-.500 seasons, and now they are back in national contention.  I hope Michigan’s woes are limited to 2 or max. 3 seasons, but we will be back.  It takes time to reload and build a program back up.  We, as Michigan fans, have to have faith in the program.  All that tradition, we can do it.  ALLEZ BLEU!

Did you really think I was going to end this post with a vote of confidence for the Nittany Lions?  My support for my boys is unending.  It’s called LOYALTY.  Drink it in!

ALLEZ BLEU!

October 14, 2008 Posted by | Joe Paterno, Jon Kitna, Michigan Wolverines, Roy Williams, Sports, Terrell Owens | Leave a comment

State of Michigan Football

Indeed it is a play on words, but today I want to talk about how this year’s football teams are 2 fates tied together.  Last week, Michigan Wolverines got blown out by the Fighting Illini, then the next day the Lions get blown out by the Bears.  Then this past weekend the Wolverines lost in a nailbiter against Toledo of all teams, then the Lions lost in a nailbiter to the Vikings.    One can go ahead and use this coming weekend’s Wolverines result to predict that of the Lions.

Lions football is so bad that a buddy of mine put it perfectly.  Fans can take this Sunday as a moral victory in that we covered the spread.  When you are taking salvation in moral victories, you know you are in bad shape.  Another realization came in the game against Illinois.  KC LOPATA IS THE WORST KICKER IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!  He had a field goal blocked by a player that did not even jump, then he missed a PAT later in the game.  So of course the Toledo game came down to a field goal attempt by Lopata, and he missed a 26-yard field goal.  That’s like missing a layup in basketball.  That’s like missing a gimme in golf.  That’s like striking out in softball.  THAT’S LIKE FUCKING MISSING A FUCKING 26-YARD FIELD GOAL ATTEMPT IN FOOTBALL.

Any soccer players want to kick for the football team?

Any soccer players want to kick for the football team?

 

The Lions have been historically an underperforming team, so many people in the state are much more college football fans.  We always had the Wolverines to be proud of.  Historically, the Sparties have sucked on green and white losses season after season, but this year the tables have turned.  As Michigan continues in mediocrity, and actually slipped into piss poor, the team up north is doing well.  The Michigan schedule actually will get tougher from here on out, so here are my unfortunate predictions for the rest of the season:

Record 2-4

Penn State – L

Michigan State – L

Purdue – W

Minnesota – L

Northwestern – W

Ohio State – L

FINAL RECORD 4-8…there is a realistic chance that we lose every game for the rest of the season.

There will be a lot of this in our future.

There will be a lot of this in our future.

It looks like our streak of 33 consecutive bowl games will be coming to an end this year.  Bad timing such that we are at our lowest point in school’s history, and we have one of our toughest schedules in years.  We will play 9 teams that will have been ranked in the Top 25 this year.  Our only cupcake game came to bite us in the ass as we lost to a MAC team for the first time in history.

People have already started to call for Rodriguez’s resignation.  I have full faith and will give him a lot of slack in the rope to build the team back up.  He better go to a bowl game, which means a minimum of 6 wins, next year, whereas most people feel like Michigan needs to be in national contention year after year without fail.  If by the 3rd year, we are not a contender, he has to go.  It is fully his recruiting and his players have fully learned the system at that point, so that is the gauge to know if his system works or not.

Until then, mediocrity it is…and an ulcer in my stomach to boot.

October 13, 2008 Posted by | Detroit Lions, KC Lopata, Michigan Wolverines, Sports | Leave a comment

Tim Tebow

T-Squared is nothing but a new age Danny Weurffel.  He’s great in the college game where he can use his size to throw over defenders and run over little DB’s.  In the NFL, he will get smacked in his mouth, at which time he will retreat to his corner like the pussy he is.

Michigan layed out the gameplan for everyone to use in last years Capital One bowl game.  Put good pressure on Terrible T, and he’ll buckle.  Rough him up on each play, and he’ll buckle.

LSU defensive tackle became my player of the week before play even begins with his comments:

“If we get a good shot on [Tebow], we’re going to try our best to take him out of the game,” Jean-Francois said Monday, according to the Orlando Sentinel’s Web site.

this is how you do it!

this is how you do it!

completely random postscript:
will you marry me?

will you marry me?

October 7, 2008 Posted by | Sports | Leave a comment

Erin Andrews vs. Molly Qerim

WHO’S HOTTER?

ERIN ANDREWS

VS.

MOLLY QERIM

So, I was watching College Football Live the other day, and this hot analyst comes on to talk about the SEC.  HELLO!  Who is that?  It was Molly Qerim.  It got be me thinking as to who was the hottest sports broadcaster.  Well, Erin Andrews still holds the title, but there are more and more out there gunning after her crown.  This was the only pic of Molly out there on the net, so I’m sure she cleans up quite a bit nicer than this ESPN employee photo.  I give her extra bonus points because she covers my 2 favorite sports of the moment, College Football and MMA.  She’s also bought a few things on my retail website www.berwee.com.  She found it somehow and so should you guys!

Here is a pretty comprehensive list of all those out there and my analysis accordingly, and Molly’s not even on the list:

http://www.coedmagazine.com/sports/14480

25 – Hannah Storm – Gross!  She’s like 90 years old!

24 – Sage Steele – token black girl.  Seriously, it’s like her and Pam Oliver haha!

23 – Adriana Monslave – pretty hot, but looks like a good makeup job

22 – Hazel Mae – cute

21 – Kathryn Tappen – athletic

20 – Tina Cervasio – fake tan

19 – Jody Vance – lose the glasses

18 – Trenni Kusnierek – kinda whatever

17 – Jillian Barberie – uesd to be up there but lost points for being a nutrisystem spokesperson

16 – Lisa Guerrero – nice, but getting up there in the years

15 – Erin Bates – decent

14 – Charissa Thompson – needs to show more skin

13 – Mieke Buchan – no complaints

12 – Ashley Russell – I HATE Big Ten Network!

11 – Lindsay Czarniak – not sexy at all

10 – Jamie Little – hot but does NASCAR

9 – Lindsay Soto – boring

8 – Leeann Tweeden – wasnt she a porn star?  seriously, wasnt she?

7 – Molly Sullivan – that one pink photo ruins everything

6 – Shana Hiatt – she actually is pretty hot

5 – Ines Sainz – you got a badunkadunk girl…but her face

4 – Heidi Watney – girl next door

3 – Jenn Sterger – my fave, but she’s not a legitimate broadcaster

2 – Erin Andrews – total package.  winner!

1 – Lisa Dergan – illigetimate

***Note:  you get a 5-point base for being an actual sports broadcaster as your job, and not a model that they put in front of the camera.  They’re actually legit when they don’t have any modelling photos out there…just being “on the job hot!”  Their sports knowledge is what makes them hot!

This girl is the REAL winner, but no one knows who she is, what she does, but I’ll let you know when I find out.

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1/22/08

Amendment per comment of Coffee:

I stand corrected…

rotate

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7/17/09

For those of you that were fortunate enough to see the Erin Andrews porn video…we are a bunch of luck mf’ers!  That woman’s body is way better than I thought.  I heard once Miss Andrews’ lawyers and entourage caught wind of it, they took that shit down so fast.

For those that didn’t see, it wasn’t a sex tape.  However, it was someone videotaping through the peep hole in the door of her hotel room.  She is just walking around, but she is ass naked and maybe talking to someone on her headset.  There is full beautiful frontal!  I kept saying to myself, “This is so illegal!  This is so illegal!”

It is indeed “illegal” for her body to look that nice.

Haters commence…

October 2, 2008 Posted by | Sports | 27 Comments

FUCK Morgan Trent!

THIS KID IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST DB IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!  YEAH, I SAID IT!

The only thing Morgan Trent has going for him is his speed.  His 40-time is highly controversial, being posted in the lockeroom at a 4.13 seconds.  Let’s be serious people.  That would go down as one of the fastest in history of football itself.  Trent was also highly praised back in the day for beating Ohio State’s well known speedster, Ted Ginn Jr., in a track meet.  STRAIGHT-AWAY SPEED ON THE TRACK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SPEED ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD!  The only good that kind of speed is good for is actually quite often exhibited by #14…catching receivers from behind.  He is doing this so often, that’s the 3-second image I have of him in my head, TRENT #14.  When the quarterback throws deep, the camera will cut away to the receiver, and Trent will be trailing a good 2-3 steps behind.  Then, #14 has to track him down, which usually happens within the 5-yard line.  You’ll see the back of his jersey at least 3-4 times a game, trying to catch the opponent streaking down the field.  FUCK Morgan Trent!

How this kid has been a 3-year starter is beyond me!  How this kid has gotten awards and accolades from the Big 10 and nationally is beyond me.  Are these people not watching the same games that I am?  With that speed, he must have the reaction time of a turtle.  Either that or his preparation is severely lacking.  He should be able to break on the ball to get way more interceptions or pass breakups.  He should be able to read a go or post route.  He is a pussy that doesn’t like contact, so he’s horrible at tackling.  He’s always diving at the runner’s legs for the shoulder tackle.  He never lines up at the line of scrimmage to jam the receiver.  Here’s my ode to FUCK Morgan Trent!

…AND MY FAVORITE!

 

 

They say this kid came into college as a receiver, then converted to cornerback.  Well, the only time in recent times I’ve seen him catch and run with the football was in this most recent game against Wisconsin.  He catches the kickoff, runs about 5 yards (no speed here), and gets JACKED UP!  Legs go flying over head, and what do you know…a FUCKING FUMBLE!  FUCK MORGAN TRENT!

To be honest, the Michigan secondary has not been solid since Charles Woodson was there in 1997.  The D-line has always been the anchor and strong suit throughout history.  The DB’s have long been the achilles of the team, but #14 is the achilles of the DB’s.  That’s like being the shortest midget.  This is his last year, and well on his way to his worst.  These last couple years have been the worst in Michigan Football History, and we can thank #14 for quite a bit of that.  FUCK Morgan Trent!

October 1, 2008 Posted by | Sports | 5 Comments

Turning Point in Michigan Football 2008?

WHEW! I had a wicked mix of emotions during the game on Saturday September 27, that still sits today.  As I watched that first half, I had flashbacks to last year’s Oregon game.  I had felt that was the worst I had ever felt while watching a Michigan Football game in 25 years of rabid fanaticisim, literally starting to watch at the age of 4.  As we turned the ball over 5 times in the first half against Wisconsin, I couldn’t help to think that worst feeling ever was in the process of being replaced by an even lower feeling.  6 turnovers in the 2 halves against Notre Dame and 5 more in this 1 half against Wisconsin.  I literally had the remote in my hand, ready to turn the TV off, and go down to the beach to think about life.  My eyes were watery on the verge of tears.  However, I thought about the friends that I know left the Colorado game years back, and we won’t revisit that here but we know what happened.  Anything can happen people!

As superstitions overwhelm my sporting fanaticism, I had to change something at the half.  I took my Michigan shorts off, and put solid black ones on, leaving a Michigan Football long sleeve tee on top.  Maybe I had too much gear on, so I had to tone it down a bit.  Next thing you know, one of th greatest comebacks in Michigan football.  I exhalted in glee every time we made a good play, but I had to return to the exact position I was sitting in to maintain that superstitious momentum.  I don’t bite my nails, but I was biting them that fateful day my friends on those last few plays where Wisconsin got the touchdown and 2-point conversion.  Low and behold a flag on the play saved the day, then victory formation it was.  As Johnny Drama might say, Victoryyyy!  It was an amazing scene at the end of the game as the team celebrated at the end of the statdium in the student section.  Job well done boys!

 

Hail to the Victors!  Hail, Hail to Michigan...

Hail to the Victors! Hail, Hail to Michigan...

 

Now, my concern is the current mindset of Michigan football.  There is absolutely no need for a Gatorade shower in a regular season victory.  Dick Rod, when you win the national championship, you will be deserving of a Gatorade shower.  Until then, keep the Gatorade in the bucket!

 

Really?  Really?

Really? Really?

Is this the turning point in our season?  I’m still pissed at Robert Smith from 3 weeks ago when he called the Big Ten a glorified MAC conference.  Quality ball clubs this year – Penn St., Ohio St., Michigan St., Illinois, Wisconsin.  Gaining momentum – Minnesota, Northwestern…soon to be Michigan?  We shall see as we try to shut down Juice again next week.  Let this be a jumping point to the rest of the season.
Stop with the Gatorade showers.  Let’s take a page from the Old Spice playbook, and get our swagger back!
GO BLUE!

September 29, 2008 Posted by | Sports | 3 Comments

Gina Carano

MMA fighter Gina Carano can rear naked choke on my wang any day!

 

For those that don't know, this is a submission move called a rear naked choke

For those that don’t know, this is a submission move called a Rear Naked Choke.
For those that don’t know, this is what is commonly called a HAUT girl!
For those that don’t know, this is what is commonly referred to as a Smokin Hot Body!

September 26, 2008 Posted by | Sex, Sports | Leave a comment

GFY Matt Millen

You aint got to go home, but you gotta get the fuck outta here!

I dont want to see you at a game.  I dont want to see you in the Midwest.  I dont even want to hear you so much as mention the Lions.  You’ve done that much harm to the organization.

Dear Ford family, really?  Really?  Did it really take that long for you to realize that Millen must go?  When we became the laughing stock of the NFL, especially the Draft, 5 years ago, that wasnt enough?  Well, better really really really late than never.

We, as loyal fans, deserve this and have waited for years for this day.

This was in 2005, and this was many protests late in the game

This was in 2005, and this was many protests late in the game

We are on the bottom, so we have nothing but upside potential.  Things are looking up around here.  Alright now, let’s get out there, and draft ONLY defensive players!  ONLY!

September 24, 2008 Posted by | Sports | Leave a comment

Bill Ford Jr. is my Hero

Finally, someone in the Lions organization is seeing the light, granted that light has been bright as the sun and the management is about 2 inches away.

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Ford Jr.: Millen should go

Daniel Howes / The Detroit News

Bill Ford Jr. wants Matt Millen out as president of the Detroit Lions.

“It’s embarrassing,” Ford told The Detroit News Monday on the sidelines of the Detroit Economic Club. “The fans deserve better, and if I had the authority I’d fire the general manager.”

Millen has been CEO and president of the Lions since 2001, and the team is headed for an eighth straight losing season with a 0-3 record in the first three games. The Lions are 31-84 under Millen, who Ford Jr. first tried to woo from the broadcast booth to the Lions’ front office after the 1998 season.

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Ford Jr.: Lions’ Millen should leave team

DETROIT (AP) — Bill Ford Jr. has seen enough of the way team president Matt Millen is running his father’s Detroit Lions.

The Ford Motor Co. executive chairman spoke to reporters Monday after a Detroit Economic Club meeting. The vice chairman of the Lions said he was disappointed in the team’s performance and said fans deserve better.

When asked, Ford said Millen should leave the team, but he didn’t have the authority to make such a significant change.

September 23, 2008 Posted by | Sports | 4 Comments