The Daily Whatup!

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Great performances

MANNY RAMIREZ:  This man has had one of the most impressive playoff performances I have ever seen.  Every time I would see him at bat, he got a hit.  When he did not get a hit, it was because he was being intentionally walked.

vs. Phillies:  15 at bats 8 hits 7 rbi 7 walks .533 batting avg.

vs. Cubs:  10 at bats 5 hits 3 rbi 4 walks .500 batting avg.

The Dodgers would have been a sub-.500 team without Manny’s half season, so in the words of John Malkovich’s Teddy KGB in Rounders “Pay that man his money!’  Manny can be Manny all day long on my team.

...dreads and all!

...dreads and all!

JAMAL WILLIAMS:  This beast of a man blew the probowl center of the Patriots, Dan Koppen, about 4 yards back off the line into the running back to make the tackle.  Check it out at the 1:22 mark in the video:
This was the best football play I’ve seen since the Lavar Leap:
POOR PERFORMANCE:  OBAMA AND MCCAIN
I hate when politicians and the media beat an idea into the ground ad nauseum like they did in the debate last night.  Case in point, Joe the Plumber.  Fuck him!  I don’t want to hear another word about this guy.  He is a nobody, so leave him where he may be in Nobodyville USA.  Just like I feel for everyone else from the rotten state of Ohio, Who Cares?
Who Cares?  He's probably a Buckeye fan.

Who Cares? He's probably a Buckeye fan.

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October 16, 2008 Posted by | Joe Plumber, Manny Ramirez | Leave a comment

Obama Tax Calculator Widget

Pretty cool that Obama has gone and quantified his “rhetoric.”  Politicians talk talk talk, but at the end of the day, “Joe 6-pack” wants to know how these policies will affect him as an individual.

[clearspring_widget title=”Obama Tax Calculator Widget” wid=”48f203eebb67a86f” pid=”48f63364bb380d3b” width=”190″ height=”510″ domain=”widgets.clearspring.com”]

October 15, 2008 Posted by | Obama, Politics | , | Leave a comment

Put your Lighters Up

I was reading my buddy Paradigm’s blog hyperwest.net, the More Than Meets the Eye entry.  (nice Transformers reference)  Actually, he introduced me to blogging years ago, but I only sat down to do my own a couple months ago.  He actually wrote a book on blogging, so feel free to support who I have deemed The Originator and his book, The Rough Guide to Blogging.

In the blog entry, he quotes Chuck Klosterman’s definitions of archenemy and nemesis, however I want to take the nemesis one step further.  The way he defines nemesis has a negative connotation, so what if your nemesis is indeed your friend?  What if you not only get an invitation for cocktails, but it’s somewhat of an assumption that you are automatically invited or assumed that you are automatically going to get together each outing?  I will now term this person your “Lighter.”

The idea is that this person will “light a fire under your ass and get you going.”  Someone that drives you to do better because you are always trying to one-up each other.  Nemesis is the source of one’s downfall, whereas the Lighter wants you to succeed as well.  Your success in turn drives them to do better.  Your lighter will tear you down because he knows your strong enough to build yourself back up.

Examples:  makes sure he knows your sports schedule, so he can talk smack when you lose; negotiates a raise, bonus, or salary to make $1,000 more than you; wants you to hook up with a hot girl so he can hook up with her hot friends; wants you to get the Audi, so he can get the Lexus; calls you a lightweight because he drinks one more beer, mixed drink, or shot than you; wants to know your finish time, so he can go out and beat it;  wants to know what you did last night, so his story next time is that much better

A lighter is a good guy really because he drives you to be a better person.  WHO’S YOUR LIGHTER?

October 15, 2008 Posted by | Random | Leave a comment

Today in Sports

– ROY WILLIAMS:  I’m actually happy this trade happened.  I like Roy a lot for his entertainment value, but Lions fans never got to see it because we were never able to get him the ball.  What’s the point of a having a deep stable of receivers if you don’t have anyone to get him the ball?  It’s almost as if the Lions have given up on the season, but I can’t blame them.  They traded for draft picks, so I hope they have already started working on their draft board.  They should have plenty of picks to work with, possibly the #1 pick at this rate.  I will hold my thoughts for now on who that pick should be.

Hey Roy, now that you are leaving the real Big D, have fun with this in Little D:

That's my quarterback!  Sniff Sniff.

That's my quarterback. Sniff Sniff.

– JON KITNA:  He’s out for the season now.  Great!  Now we have Dan Orlovsky to come in and save the day.  Even greater!  Um, I’m hoping the moves to build for the future includes getting a quarterback.  We should try to pick somebody up now to finish the season, and keep them on as leadership.  There’s been rumors of Daunte Culpepper, but I’d rather Steve McNair.  Bring Air McNair to Detroit!

– ANALYSTS:  Maybe I have been watching a bit too much Sportscenter these days, but sports analysts need to just shut the fuck up and watch.  They praise a guy for being a genius one day, then chastise him the next.  The saying goes something like “those that can, play.  those that can’t, coach.”  Where does that leave the analysts?  Those that were too chicken shit to try?

– TOLEDO VS. APP ST.:  This is pissing me off that people keep saying that the Wolverines loss to Toledo was worse than last year’s to Appalachain State.  There are not even close!  Last year was a #5 ranked team full of seniors that had returned with the specific goal of winning a national championship.  This year is an obviously shitty team in transition full of freshman.  There’s no comparison!  None whatsoever!

– JOE PA:  Pretty impressive that he has had at least one undefeated season in every decade since the 60’s.  The 60’s!  If it’s going to happen in this decade, it’s going to be this year.  Hearing today this stat alone leads me to go ahead and claim this indeed is the year.  Penn State will go undefeated in the REGULAR season, on the way to the national championship game.  However, I am not giving them the national championship just yet.  I thought Oklahoma was the team to beat in my mind all season, until a poor showing versus Texas this weekend.  I am not counting them out completely, but I didn’t realize their defense was so poor.  That is why I love college football.  Every game means something.

Unofficial lifetime contract

Unofficial lifetime contract

JoePa and Penn St. had its woes earlier this decade with a few sub-.500 seasons, and now they are back in national contention.  I hope Michigan’s woes are limited to 2 or max. 3 seasons, but we will be back.  It takes time to reload and build a program back up.  We, as Michigan fans, have to have faith in the program.  All that tradition, we can do it.  ALLEZ BLEU!

Did you really think I was going to end this post with a vote of confidence for the Nittany Lions?  My support for my boys is unending.  It’s called LOYALTY.  Drink it in!

ALLEZ BLEU!

October 14, 2008 Posted by | Joe Paterno, Jon Kitna, Michigan Wolverines, Roy Williams, Sports, Terrell Owens | Leave a comment

State of Michigan Football

Indeed it is a play on words, but today I want to talk about how this year’s football teams are 2 fates tied together.  Last week, Michigan Wolverines got blown out by the Fighting Illini, then the next day the Lions get blown out by the Bears.  Then this past weekend the Wolverines lost in a nailbiter against Toledo of all teams, then the Lions lost in a nailbiter to the Vikings.    One can go ahead and use this coming weekend’s Wolverines result to predict that of the Lions.

Lions football is so bad that a buddy of mine put it perfectly.  Fans can take this Sunday as a moral victory in that we covered the spread.  When you are taking salvation in moral victories, you know you are in bad shape.  Another realization came in the game against Illinois.  KC LOPATA IS THE WORST KICKER IN ALL OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL!  He had a field goal blocked by a player that did not even jump, then he missed a PAT later in the game.  So of course the Toledo game came down to a field goal attempt by Lopata, and he missed a 26-yard field goal.  That’s like missing a layup in basketball.  That’s like missing a gimme in golf.  That’s like striking out in softball.  THAT’S LIKE FUCKING MISSING A FUCKING 26-YARD FIELD GOAL ATTEMPT IN FOOTBALL.

Any soccer players want to kick for the football team?

Any soccer players want to kick for the football team?

 

The Lions have been historically an underperforming team, so many people in the state are much more college football fans.  We always had the Wolverines to be proud of.  Historically, the Sparties have sucked on green and white losses season after season, but this year the tables have turned.  As Michigan continues in mediocrity, and actually slipped into piss poor, the team up north is doing well.  The Michigan schedule actually will get tougher from here on out, so here are my unfortunate predictions for the rest of the season:

Record 2-4

Penn State – L

Michigan State – L

Purdue – W

Minnesota – L

Northwestern – W

Ohio State – L

FINAL RECORD 4-8…there is a realistic chance that we lose every game for the rest of the season.

There will be a lot of this in our future.

There will be a lot of this in our future.

It looks like our streak of 33 consecutive bowl games will be coming to an end this year.  Bad timing such that we are at our lowest point in school’s history, and we have one of our toughest schedules in years.  We will play 9 teams that will have been ranked in the Top 25 this year.  Our only cupcake game came to bite us in the ass as we lost to a MAC team for the first time in history.

People have already started to call for Rodriguez’s resignation.  I have full faith and will give him a lot of slack in the rope to build the team back up.  He better go to a bowl game, which means a minimum of 6 wins, next year, whereas most people feel like Michigan needs to be in national contention year after year without fail.  If by the 3rd year, we are not a contender, he has to go.  It is fully his recruiting and his players have fully learned the system at that point, so that is the gauge to know if his system works or not.

Until then, mediocrity it is…and an ulcer in my stomach to boot.

October 13, 2008 Posted by | Detroit Lions, KC Lopata, Michigan Wolverines, Sports | Leave a comment

Nobel Peace Prize Scheme

So I just stumbled on my next money making scheme.  I’m going to win the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize!

Swedish people are so nice!

Swedish people are so nice!

The winner takes home $1.4 million!  I shall promote peace and harmony around the world, then win my casheesh.

Seriously, why does an individual win a ridiculous amount of money?  If there was a stipulation on how the money must be used, that is one thing.  These people are free to use the money however they so choose.  That said, the people that win are usually in a good financial position already.  That allows them the time to dedicate tireless time and effort to promoting peace.  A naysayer might say that these winners would probably donate the money to charity or their own peace organization.  Not always true!

How some winners spent their money:

2007 – back into organization; THAT’S WASSUP!

2001 – bought a house

2000 – established a new award;  THAT’S WASSUP!

1999 – restored a city landmark; THAT’S WASSUP!

1995 – established an organization; THAT’S WASSUP!

1993 – bought a house; installed a croquet lawn

1991 – stated would establish a trust, but no evidence of such to date

1985 – bought a sailboat

1919 – gave to wife, who helped win the award; THAT’S KINDA WASSUP.

1903, 1911 – back into research; THAT’S WASSUP!

I’m just saying that it’ll be a good way for me to make some money while being socially concious and giving back.  Is there anything wrong with that?

Btw to the ECONOMICALLY CONCERNED:

I, myself, have asked have we seen the worst in this financial crisis?  The answer is “pretty damn close!”  Over the past 30 years, we have seen recession periodically.  Domestic recessions usually last about 8 months.  Global recessions usually last about 16 months.  We are about halfway through this global recessions, so we have another 8 months to go.  Next June 2009, look for big things to start happening!  The rebirth of a new economy will come just in time for the rebirth of a new me…I’ll be on the verge of turning 30 years old!

October 10, 2008 Posted by | Business, Nobel Peace Prize | Leave a comment

Ann Curry

You, my dear, are the sole reason I am thinking of switching from the Today Show to Good Morning America.  You’re horrible!

It pains me to watch and/or listen to one of your interviews.  When I watch you interview someone, you make this face like you’re talking about something earth shattering and profound because you put so much thought into it.  Really, all it amounts to is what comes off as a mean face.  Here is Ann Curry’s think face:

Okay, so I thought maybe it’ll be better if I just didn’t watch.  The Today Show is legit, so it gets great interviews that I want to hear.  Turning away from the TV, it’s worse to listen to the actual interview.  You apparently are thinking about your profound comment, for you don’t know when to speak and not.  You’re constantly interrupting as someone speaks.  Let the person answer the fucking question!  Then there are long pauses in between questions that go unfilled.  The interviews just don’t flow, and I just end up being frustrated and wanting everyone to shut the fuck up at that point.

Ann Curry, you’re horrible.  I cut you a lot of slack because you were representing for Asians…sort of.  Meredith Viera, you’re worthless because you’re never there.  You must still be trying to figure out how to say your fucking name properly in Portuguese after 50 years.  Matt Lauer, you can stay because you actually know what you’re doing.  Al Roker, keep coonin because it’s what you do best.  Maria Menounos, you’re hot, so just keep quiet and be a pretty face.

  

BRING BACK KATIE COURIC!  PAY HER WHATEVER SHE DIVA’S UP AND NEEDS, IT’LL BE WORTH IT!

October 9, 2008 Posted by | Ann Curry, Random | Leave a comment

Dancing with the Stars

So Dancing with the Stars must be the most evil show out there.  It is slowly corrupting sports and the balance of entertainment these stars are coming from.  People that have a flourishing career should take a note from Chelsea Lately.  When asked if she would ever go on the show, she replied “No, I have a job.”

That’s just it.  Having done organized hip hop dance in the past, I know that it takes time and physical work to do this “hobby.”  Jason Taylor decided to hold out from football training camp in order to continue competing on the show.  Missing training camp, he also missed the workout sessions to get into football shape.  Dance muscles are very different from football muscles.  Now that he returned to the field, the Dolphins were smart in trading him.  He is indeed getting up there in football years and his lack of off season training has gotten him on the injured list indefnitely.   He also ended his streak of 133 straight games played.  What is the root of all this evil?  Dancing with the Stars!

Now, our latest casualty.  One of the faces of the whole sport of volleyball, Misty May-Treanor, ruptured her achilles and will be out for the next 6-9 months.  Misty, what is wrong with you?  You are at the peak of your career, and you’re fucking around on some dance show.  So now you can kiss goodbye the million dollar tournaments you just won and the contracts you just signed.  More importantly, you just fucked your partner’s career.  This single show has changed the whole landscape of volleyball.  Misty and Keri were carrying the torch with the rising popularity of American volleyball.  Who knows the heights they could have gone with the exposure they were getting?  Will Keri Walsh get a new partner?  She should because Misty is a fucking idiot for going onto that damned show.  Fuck!  The AVP should have stepped in and put the kabash on that!

Misty May-Treanor Talks Leaving 'Dancing'                                Those are acutally “I just fucked up my career” tears!

Going on that show is no more intelligent than Ben Rothlisberger or Kellen Winslow getting into accidents while riding their motorcycles.  It is just as wreckless and an endangerment to those athletes careers.

Bottom line.  No one with a real job should go on Dancing with the Stars.  Only members of AARP!

October 8, 2008 Posted by | Random | 1 Comment

401-Keg

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago,
you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG
one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of
shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all
the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you
will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current
investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

kudos to http://safarisbackpack.spaces.live.com/Blog/cns!36664C9801636C53!821.entry for writing this blog way before i even got it in an email.  great minds think alike, so ill drink to that!

October 8, 2008 Posted by | Random | Leave a comment

Tim Tebow

T-Squared is nothing but a new age Danny Weurffel.  He’s great in the college game where he can use his size to throw over defenders and run over little DB’s.  In the NFL, he will get smacked in his mouth, at which time he will retreat to his corner like the pussy he is.

Michigan layed out the gameplan for everyone to use in last years Capital One bowl game.  Put good pressure on Terrible T, and he’ll buckle.  Rough him up on each play, and he’ll buckle.

LSU defensive tackle became my player of the week before play even begins with his comments:

“If we get a good shot on [Tebow], we’re going to try our best to take him out of the game,” Jean-Francois said Monday, according to the Orlando Sentinel’s Web site.

this is how you do it!

this is how you do it!

completely random postscript:
will you marry me?

will you marry me?

October 7, 2008 Posted by | Sports | Leave a comment